How To Build New Habits? Try This Method

Alright, it’s time to make a change! Let’s open up that new journal you plan to write in every day. Or trash every food item that contains any kind of sugar or carbohydrate. Then a month later you realize you haven’t written consistently in your journal, or you have given in and enjoyed a juicy steak. 

So why are you having a hard time committing to a new habit? In this blog, I share what has worked for me which involves using a social concept you are already VERY familiar with.  Allow me to humor you!

DATE YOUR HABITS

Why do you agree to a first date with someone? Maybe something about that person is appealing. Maybe they are not your usual type and curiosity has the best of you. Or maybe you are bored and just want to get out of the house. What if I suggested those are the same reasons why you decide to try a new habit?

Similar to being open to dating someone new, trying a new habit says you are looking for a change. However, instead of dating your new habit first, you fully commit to it TOO SOON. (Remember earlier you trashed all the sugary goodies or carbs in your kitchen).

In 2017, I watched What The Health and decided to become a vegetarian ASAP. In the past, I gave up eating meat during the month of January in solidarity with my church’s annual fast. On average I had about an 80% success rate (I must be honest with you). For me to have a 100% success rate in becoming vegetarian, I decided I needed to “date” this new lifestyle first.

When considering dating a new habit, take a few minutes to answer the questions below. 

1. What do you EXPECT to get from this new habit? 

2. What are you willing to GIVE UP for this new habit?

3. How much TIME are you willing to give this new habit BEFORE you give up?

So you have answered the questions above and lets say you have realistic expectations, you are willing to give up your comfort, and your commitment is indefinite. CONGRATULATIONS! You are ready to commit (marry) your new habit!! SLOW DOWN. Now you have to go on dates with your potential new habit. Invest quality time and effort. 

Here are examples of how to “date” different habits that have worked for me. (Disclaimer: I am not a certified fitness instructor nor a nutritionist).

New Habit: I want to go to the gym 4 times a week.

Week 1

Date #1: Pick one day to go to the gym. I would recommend a Friday. Stretch for a few minutes. Complete a low-impact workout for 30 minutes such as getting on the treadmill. To distract yourself, watch a tv show or listen to a podcast. Maybe there is a beginner’s aerobics class you can take.

Please DO NOT sign up for a Hight Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) workout or try to workout on every single piece of exercise equipment. You are setting yourself up for failure. How likely will you go on Date #2 if you can hardly walk after Date #1? 

Evaluate: How was your workout? Here are a few questions you can ask yourself.

• How was your commute to the gym?
• Do you need to adjust your arrival time?
• How was your workout outfit? Too loose or tight?
• Do you need to wear something that is sweat-absorbent? 

Feel free to add to this list of questions.

Week 2  

Date #2 & #3: Go to the gym in the middle of the week & on Friday. Complete a low-impact workout for 30 minutes on each day and ask yourself the same evaluation questions. 

Week 3 

Date #4, #5, & #6: Go to the gym on a Monday for 30 mins, Wednesday for 30 mins, & Friday for 45 mins. Low impact workout on Monday. Try a different cardio machine. Wednesday check out a workout class. Try strength training on Friday. Don’t forget to answer your evaluation questions. 

Week 4

Date #7, #8, & #9: Go to the gym Tuesday for 30 minutes, Thursday for 30 minutes, & Saturday for 45 minutes. Switch up between the treadmill, exercise bike, elliptical, and a workout class.

When introducing more intense cardio machines such as the elliptical, I only try it for 10 minutes. So maybe get on the treadmill for 20 minutes and the elliptical for 10 minutes. Remember consistently going to the gym is the top priority and not over doing it. 

CONGRATULATIONS!! You have gone on NINE dates in one month!! You paced yourself each week versus going to the gym every day for one week and quitting the next week due to exhaustion.

New Habit: I want to eat to become a vegan.

As I write this blog, I want to transition from a vegetarian lifestyle to a more vegan lifestyle. This is the plan I used when I switched from eating meat to becoming a vegetarian.

Week 1

Replace one of your meals per day with a vegan option for five days. Use at least two recipes. Week 1 of my vegetarian dating phase, I replaced breakfast.

Evaluate: It’s time to ask yourself a few questions.

• Which meals did you like?
• Which meal kept you full?

Feel free to add to this list of questions.

Week 2

Replace one of your meals with a vegan option for seven days. Use three different recipes. Ask yourself the same evaluation questions from Week 1.

Week 3 & 4

Replace two meals only for five days.  I replaced breakfast and lunch. Ask yourself the same evaluation questions from Week 1.

CONGRATULATIONS! By week four, 67% of all your meals for one month were vegan. “Dating” has prevented you from eating everything in sight after eating vegan 100% of the time for the first week. 

 According to Health Spots, it takes 21 days to create a new habit and 90 DAYS to make it a part of your lifestyle. You can date your new habit for a few months, make adjustments as needed, and then take the leap to marry your habit. 

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COMMIT TO HEALTHY HABITS

It may have taken you a month, a few months, or a year to get here but you are now ready to fully go all in and marry your new habit.  Similar to marriage between two individuals, this new journey will not be perfect and you will still need to date your habit and make adjustments as needed.

In August 2017, my body told me it no longer wanted meat after I purchased a slice of pepperoni pizza at a Washington Commanders football game. This slice of pizza was going to be my last carnivorous meal. Well, my body had other plans. I took a few bites of this grease-filled slice of pizza and I immediately did not feel well. I was now married to this new plant-based lifestyle that occasionally enjoys seafood. I didn’t even have time to consider a prenup. 

HUMANITY INSPIRES MOVEMENT

For each blog post, I like to take a moment to share how this blog post could continue our mission to inspire humanity.

I can think of three reasons why people decide to develop new habits or lifestyle.

1. Tired. There is a saying that a person never changes until they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. You get to a point in your life where your current lifestyle is not working. You look in the mirror and you don’t recognize yourself. Maybe you are tired of hurting your loved ones or losing relationships.
2. Light Bulb Moment. You read earlier I began transitioning to a vegetarian lifestyle after watching What The Health. I always had a feeling I might become a vegetarian in maybe my 40s or 50s, but it was just a feeling. However, once I watched that documentary I could not ignore the facts that were right in front of me. Have you ever had that type of moment?  After that light bulb moment, a fire is lit inside of you, and you have to make changes. Unfortunately, that fire will eventually go out and if your new habits are not in place, your momentum will be lost.
3. Bad Medical News. Your doctor calls and has disappointing news. I think this is one of the hardest reasons to change. Yes, it is a much-needed wake-up call but it also takes away your choice of if/when you want to make a lifestyle change. Especially if the lifestyle change was unexpected such as the diagnosis of a chronic health condition that was not bought on by an unhealthy lifestyle.

There are a lot more reasons why people make lifestyle changes. Lifestyle changes especially when done for health reasons can have a significant positive impact on how you view life. When you feel better, you tend to do better. You can expand your attention from just yourself to now include others. 

All lifestyle changes start with healthy habits which promote health and wellness in your life — like exercising, eating a healthy diet, getting plenty of sleep, and socializing with friends. If you exercise regularly, you will have more energy to be more productive at work, spend time with those you love, and try out new hobbies. A healthy diet and getting sleep will not only improve your overall health but will give you mental clarity. According to Mercy Care, socializing with others promotes a sense of safety, belonging, and security. It allows you to confide in others and let them confide in you.

CONCLUSION

Whether it’s a New Year’s Resolution, the beginning of a new week, or just celebrating a birthday, developing new habits are vital as you evolve as an individual. I hope this dating strategy I introduced in this blog are the stepping stones for you to make healthy lifestyle changes. 

Commit today to saying no to unrealistic expectations and deadlines. Say yes to pacing yourself and learning your new habits along the way. When you date someone, you usually like to spend time with them in different environments to learn their personality and quirks. The same can be done when making lifestyle changes.

Check out all the new things I’ve learned since starting Humanity Inspires by clicking here.

What new habits are you ready to date? I’d love to hear your answers in the comment section. Please no profanity, politically driven statements, or just plain meanness. ANY SUCH COMMENTS WILL BE REMOVED.